In some sports, like soccer, referees wave red flags or dole out red cards for violations. Sometimes, love is talked about as if it's a game. It's not romantic, but it can certainly feel that way.

We are a society obsessed with red flags. The idea of catching early signs that someone will be a bad partner is so relieving. We don’t have to waste our time or get hurt, we can just be more vigilant ...

Looking back, the signs were there. “For one, he was kind of rude to my friends,” Jess says. “And he would totally shut down whenever he got upset.” Still, it wasn’t until after they broke up that ...