Children who grow up under coercive control are navigating two worlds — one built on fear, and one built on safety. And when they come home dysregulated, explosive, or even aggressive, it’s not because they’re “bad”… it’s because they’re surviving. What you’re seeing is control in the context of no control, just as Dr. Evan Stark describes. Your child is being controlled by the abuser — and simultaneously fearing that if they don’t align, they’ll face the same punishment, rejection, or contempt
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